Capt. Tommy Smeltzer - Los Angeles Wing

Captain Tommy is currently the only Sixty Second Airborne member to be listed in the Internet Movie Database. He has appeared in a bad movie that was never released, a bad movie with Cuba Gooding that was released, a decent movie that was released that nobody saw, and Boston Public.


Capt. Brian Sack - New York Wing

Brian is the best-selling author of The Truth About Santa, which devastated an entire generation of seven year olds. He is the only Sixty Second Airborne crew member to say "Mrs... uh." on ABC's All My Children.

Brian's first advertising job was as an underpaid copywriter with a sociopathic megalomaniac boss in 1991. Brian frequently sees insane people from his window. In his spare time he edits


Capt. Fred Leo - Atlanta Wing

Captain Fred's bio hasn't changed. He claims to break cameras. Contact John Mayer for naked photos. Cash impossible.

Fred believes in conspiracy theories that involve John Quincy Adams.